Where do I start? The week began with the loss of a key employee on my team and ended with a partial restructuring of our business and our roles. And somewhere in the middle was an appointment with the fireman’s psychiatrist that netted me a whole lot of nothing and a CT scan on my sinuses (for yet another sinus infection) that revealed that the pain must be all in my head… because it’s apparently not in my sinuses.
I’m exhausted. Completely and utterly. I finally admitted that I needed time to care for myself and my family and then my job, which was actually beginning to smooth out, exploded into shambles. I still have a job, so I shouldn’t complain, but now I have more job than I probably can handle. Yet, this is typical and my life and I’d better get used to it. The road to CEO is paved with broken glass, my friends. And you have to walk it barefoot.
Oh, I also went to a resource fair for special needs children where I met up with a new friend and fellow autism mom. The whole scene was overwhelming, I nearly broke down in tears on several occasions and rounded out the evening with the fireman throwing the most fantastical fit known to man kind. He screamed bloody murder in the library, knocked books off of shelves, hit me and Bruno with his fists, dug his nails into our skin, drawing blood. We ended up taking him outside where we practically laid our bodies across him on the rain soaked sidewalk to keep him from beating us up or running into traffic. We were a total spectacle. The irony of where this fit took place is not lost on me. The librarian who apologized to the patrons for my child’s outburst was… less than appreciated by my family.
I realize that my blog has turned into a place where I just go to vent, which isn’t exactly the literary pursuit that I was going for originally. Maybe I should just be happy that I have a place to go to let it all out. I will never get a following or book deal (every bloggers secret wish, right?) by only using this site as a bitching board, but I guess this is where I am in life right now. I hate that I have limits. That I can’t be everything all of the time. I don’t like being told no, and right now the universe is telling me no in a really big way.