I don’t want to be that person who gets upset over other people’s comments on my posts. But I do. Things bother me and sometimes I have a hard time brushing them off and letting go. Like tonight, for example. Much to my surprise and delight, my post “Missing The Mommy Gene” has been featured on Blogher.com and has sparked an interesting discussion in the comments. I was so excited by the level of support that my post received… until I received this comment:
“…I try my best to make crafts with my kids and do many of the things you just slapped down even and at the same time still miraculously have time to be a smart, independent, “well dressed”, goal seeking, career loving woman who doesn’t judge other women/mother’s for being or not being who they are, macrame enthusiasts or not.” You can read it in full here.
Here is what bothers me so much about this comment: The words, “and at the same time still miraculously have time to be…” Perhaps I’m being oversensitive. Or perhaps this was a bad day for me to hear this because I’ve had such a hard and EXHAUSTING day with the fireman. A day that has left me in a pile on the couch because his needs were so HIGH today and I gave him everything that I had to give, and then some. There is nothing left for me or anyone else.
So, this commenter probably doesn’t know about my personal situation and it really doesn’t matter. But it made me ridiculously angry because I wish with all of my being that I had the energy to be the mom who makes scrapbooks and plans amazing, over-the-top birthday parties. Or even the mom who had more energy just to take the fireman to a museum or the zoo more often. But our-day-to day life is draining. Completely and utterly. Every day is a challenge. Every day, I’m forced to pull from my reserves and my reserves’ reserves. It hurts me to my core that I don’t have the energy to give more. It strikes right at the center of my mommy guilt. I should be able to do more.
Thanks for pointing that out to me.